I Am Loved

There was a season in my life when the words to the song “Jesus Loves Me” moved me to tears. This was a song I could recite the words to without thought. I’d been singing them since I was a small child and had never experienced this. Heaven help me when I had to say the words, “Jesus Loves Me”, my heart just wanted to weep. I began to grow concerned and questioned what was wrong with me? Why now? Where are these uncontrolled, throat-tingling tears coming from? God was letting these amazing, inconceivable words wash over me. He didn’t want me to just sing or say the words, He wanted me to feel them and know them personally.

When we make a decision to say a prayer of commitment yielding our life to God, He takes us at our word. It was in this season God invited me to own my own faith, and begin a relationship that has changed me from the inside out. Imagine the scene in the movie “Aladdin” where Prince Ali flies on the rug up to the balcony of Jasmine, where he holds out his hand to invite her on an adventure of a lifetime. That was God with me. He was holding out His hand and asking me the question, “Do you trust me?”. With hesitation and desperation my heart said, “Yes”….

As the old song goes, “The greatest gift you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.”. I lived in the security of knowing how to “love” people well, but it came with an arm-length and a broken, survival mindset. “You need me, but I don’t NEED you”, was a BIG one for me. Harsh, I know! It was self-protection covered in lies. The horrible thing was this was the approach I took with my relationship with God too. I gave Him enough of my heart to get the fire insurance coverage, but held back the rest in fear. I was disillusioned with the idea that I could maintain control while keeping the scorecard of “checks and balances” on my end.

I am so thankful for God’s patience with me! My journey with God has been years of Him inviting me into some hard and difficult places. It’s been my willingness to go to those hard places that has brought revelation, adventure, breakthrough, and transformation. He continuously uses people, books, movies, and scriptures to show me a deep truth of His love for me. One of my most memorable moments was when God used a quote from the children’s book, “The Tale of Despereaux” by Kate DiCamillo. “There is nothing sweeter in this sad world than the sound of someone you love calling your name.” This is where the words of “Jesus Loves Me” and this children’s book collide. In that moment of brokenness, God reached into the depths of my heart to give me an image of His son hanging on a cross, saying my name. He hung there saying your name too! “This is love; not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” -1John 4:10 (NIV)

This week God whispered to my heart 1 John 4. When I opened my Bible there above the the title God’s Love and Ours, I had at some point written the words, “I Am Loved!”. The irony was the song that came up on my YouTube that morning was Mack Brock’s new song, “I Am Loved”. All week I have been allowing those words and scriptures to wash over me.  When we get a fresh revelation from the Holy Spirit that He transforms our mindset and allows us to experience and see another intimate part of God, with those keys of revelation He will begin to unlock the chains that hold us back in the areas that our hearts long for a true connection to others. It’s when we “yield our hearts God”, relinquishing fear and self protection, that we begin to really see another person who Jesus Loves. It’s in and through that love for another we display our love to Him.

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